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Cabbages & Kings: I

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If you are reading this column right now and as an avid subscriber to IT-Online you have been able to keep abreast of breaking news in the IT industry on a daily basis throughout the week, you are either enjoying a freakish run of pure luck or have escaped the "default conspiracy". 

I haven’t been that lucky.
My daily lunch-time "fix" of being able to catch up with breaking news in the IT world has been totally disrupted by that phenomena that is so euphemistically referred to as "load shedding".
In fact, I’m now totally convinced that I am the victim of a carefully planned and sinister conspiracy. There is absolutely no doubt at all that some extremely vindictive "operatives" serving under "Major General Power Failure" and "General Total Blackout" within the military junta that has taken control of the country from President Mbeki’s government have targeted me.
I believe that I have been unwittingly recruited by the junta to cause total chaos in the economy. My conspiracy theory goes something like this;
A cohort of technical "operatives" from the junta have sneakily set up a "default" system linked to my car’s ignition system, my computer system and my beloved television remote control.
Whenever I turn on my car’s ignition to set off for work, to go home after work or to travel from the office to a meeting, the "default" is triggered and "load shedding" is invoked along my entire intended travel route and every alternative "rat run" I can think of. The result – total gridlock, hours in the traffic, a grossly delayed or cancelled meeting and a late, far-from-romantic candle-lit dinner.
My computer system at work appears to be linked to the same default system. Every time I need to save some really critical file, send or receive an important e-mail, or attempt to open IT-Online, the "load-shedding" default is triggered.
My TV remote control at home appears to have several "defaults" built into it. One that I have lived with for more years than I care to admit and learnt to put up with seems to be linked to my wife’s "auto-on" banshee nagging button and is most definitely triggered by any sports channel that I flick to. The other default is most certainly linked to the "load shedding" plot and applies to any of my favourite channels.
Needless to say, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with IT-Online. Hope that, if you are reading this, you are having better luck.
– David Bryant